Friday, June 10, 2016

A Day in the Life: Day 10 of My Freelance Journey

Here's what I didn't know when I decided to try freelance writing:
1.  It's all-consuming.  Truly, I think about essay ideas all day long.  I pour over websites and blogs listing publications that accept unsolicited, newbie freelance submissions.  I have started carrying a three-subject Five Star notebook in my bag so I can jot down goals, submissions, and results.  So far, it's heavy on ideas, short on results.
2.  It's hard.  So hard.  The hardest part, so far has been waiting.  In more rational moments, I know that editors are busy pouring over the hundreds or thousands of submission they receive.  In my more anxious moments, though, I'm screaming READ IT! EMAIL ME! CHOOSE ME!
3.  It's fun.  I had no idea how quickly an hour could fly.  I have been working harder on this project than almost anything else I've ever done.  My goal is to keep working that hard.  Pry the publishing doors open and shove myself through.  (Just kidding, editors, I'm just politely persistent.)
4.  It's scary. I've written essays exposing the black holes in my mind and the scabs on my heart, and I've gone deep into those creepy black holes and I've scratched the scabs, and it's hard.  I've always rejected therapy because I didn't want to have difficult emotional discussions, but suddenly, I'm having those emotional discussions with myself as I pour over ways to make my worst heartbreaks into "art."
5.  There are so many options.  One entire section of the aforementioned 3 subject notebook is a long list of publications I'm excited about.  There are writing contests I want to enter, and blogs I want to be a part of, and writers I want to read.  Who knew?  There's an entire world of literature and great works that I can't wait to be a part of.

So I'm committed.  I'm sticking with this.  Eventually, I'll see results.

In the meantime, if anyone is reading this and has any advice, comment please! Writers need attention!

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

My First Week

It's normal to feel this frustrated your first week of the freelance lifestyle, right?

I estimate that I've sent thirty query letters.  I know I have received two "yes" votes; thank you savvyauntie.com and yourtango.com!  Two rejections; and am waiting to hear from about twenty-eight more.

I'm giving blogmutt.com a chance as a way to get experience writing content outside my comfort zone and perhaps earn a little extra money along the way.

I have to say that the experience of seeing my article in print at savvyauntie.com and sharing that article with my family and friends has made the rejections and the non-responses easier to accept.  I also know that's part of the risk. Anytime you put your creative work out there in the world, you take that risk.

I'm thinking of compiling a list of the stupidest rejections of all time.  And perhaps, someday, a thirtysomething with a desire to drop the "aspiring" from her self definition, will add mine among them.

Until then, I'm not going to give up.  #bucketlist, right?

Monday, June 6, 2016

First Success!

My first publication is here:  http://savvyauntie.com/expertisedetails.aspx?id=5192&GroupID=628&Name=My Story: How Having a Three-Year-Old Best Friend Makes Me a Better Adult

I could not be more excited or more grateful to SavvyAuntie.com for making writing rewarding and fun again!  This was my first publication and was definitely a project of joy!

After throwing myself into the deep end of freelance writing, I needed this success!

Now, back to work!

Read the article! Leave a thought!

Sunday, June 5, 2016

What Do Editors Do After I Hit "Submit"?

I've been hitting the "submit" button on website submissions non-stop since last Monday when I started trying to get published.  I'm new at this, so I have no idea what reasonable expectations are, but as a new writer, still hopeful, and ambitious, and insecure, I need an immediate reply.  I need just one to write back and say, "That's it!  You're published! Here's your $10,000." 

Okay, I get it.  That's unrealistic on every level.

But no matter how great I think a piece is when I hit submit, everyday that goes by without an acceptance/validation, I am more and more sure that my writing is "pedestrian."  I don't know why that's my go to word for it; I'm not even really sure I know what it means.  But that's what goes on in a writer's head while we wait.

So, editors of the world, tell us; what do you do in the hours and days between "submit" and reply?  Is it possible you just actually have a life beyond work and you're not in the office?  If that's it, good for you.  Just let us know.

Friday, June 3, 2016

During a particularly strange dinner conversation with my college friends, the words, "Kuwait, huh? How's that going to be?" came out of my mouth.  It was a strange conversation already, and then I made it stranger by opening my mouth and hearing Chandler Bing (circa "Friends", it was still the nineties) come out.

So, that's become a recurring phrase when I embark on something and have no idea what to expect, "How's that going to be?"  I didn't expect freelance to be so consuming.  Not time consuming out of necessity, but out of blind ambition that I haven't experienced in a while.  I'm in love with the opportunity.  And the opportunity appears to be everywhere!

Pinterest, google searches, the back pages of my shiny hard copy magazines all promise financial opportunities, just write, submit and cash the check.

Not so far.  I'm finding freelance to actually be far more like online dating.

When you're finally ready to admit to yourself that online dating is not a trendy pop culture phase, and you create an account, the first thing you're asked to do is describe yourself.

Sounds easy, I've known myself for thirty-four years. I know my self better than I know anyone else, how hard could it be to describe myself.  It's hard.  Both online dating and freelance submissions want to know something about who you are.  "Just a short bio" they all say.  So, in both instances, I have sat and stared at a blank box.  "I'm an attorney..." wait, no one really cares about that right? Does that seem like I'm bragging?  And anyway, who wants to be described by what they do.  I work out?  I have friends?  I watch too much TV and would rather read a book than talk to you? 

I thought about how my mother might describe me, "Single, but pretty;" "Sarcastic;" "Slightly autistic, but in a good way" (yes, that happens).

It's impossible! I cannot describe myself in 400 words, not because that's too few, but because it's too many!

If you survive writing a bio, you have to put yourself out there, both in freelance submissions and in online dating.  Initially, you're so overwhelmed with hope and opportunity and everyone promises it's going to be so easy!

Let me tell you, it's not.

You pull together your best work--photos for the online dating and writing for the freelancing--and you hit send. And then you wait.  And while you wait for a reply, you really start to question what is wrong with you.  Why isn't anyone emailing you?  What are they even doing?  Don't they read their emails as quickly as I do? 

Then you get a response.  Great! Someone wants to love me!  But not enough to pay me.  So I work for free because that's how you get exposure, and exposure is everything; or I buy my own dinner on an awkward first date, that's really just a redefined blind date, but I think I got experience. And that's what counts.

And it is.  It's great.  It's opportunity and that's what I'm looking for.

Until you get your first rejection. The "thanks but no thanks" from the guy you thought might be right for you, or the publisher really just isn't that in to the work you were once so proud of.  You're a great, independent, thirtysomething woman with all of her shit together.  Why wouldn't he/they want you?  That was your very best effort, your profile pic or your essay were the very best you could do.  If they don't want you based on your once in a lifetime best effort, no one is going to every date you or publish you.

So you quit, because that's easier.  It's easier to just tell yourself it's not meant to be.  You'll be alone, you always have and it's been fine.  And you'll just not be a writer.  It's okay, you have a day job.  Sure, it was your dream once, but so was love, and you've been fine without that.

But you can't quit.  Because being a writer is who you are, even on the days you don't want to be.  And that trash isn't going to take itself out and it sure would be nice to have a guy around to do things like that.

So you try again and expect things will be better.  That someone will love you, it both.

So freelance writing, huh? How's that going to be.  Don't quit your day job.

A short bio?! Who am I?

Get into freelance writing, they said.  It'll be fun, they said. 

How hard can it be? I like to write.  I'll write about anything.  So I did.  I wrote a few essays, searched for appropriate publications and was all set to submit, until the scary part happened.

"Please provide a short bio."

Why is this the hardest part of writing?  Why can I write a 1,000 word essay about my niece, detailing exactly who she is and I can't find "less than 400 words" to say about myself?

I'm an attorney.  Great--I hate that.  I hate identifying myself by my job.

I run.  Oh, so you run for a team? No.  Training for the Olympics?  Nope.  I run because I hate stress and love pizza. 

What do you do for fun?  Well, my dog has some interesting personality quirks and that takes up a lot of my free time.  I read.  I write, obviously.  Occasionally, I even interact with other humans.

Freelance writing is already more difficult than I thought, and I haven't even hit submit.

If anyone's reading this, leave a thought.  How do you describe yourself?  What is that makes you so uniquely you that no one else's 400 words or less would be the same?